My alarm went off that morning, but that’s not what woke me up.
I had barely slept that night. I felt sick to my stomach. I was scared, worried, and nervous.
I just wanted it to be over.
I skipped breakfast that morning. The thought of eating anything made me queasy.
I knew what was about to happen.
I put a smile on my face, and I said goodbye to my mom. I didn’t have the courage to tell her that I was about to lose the internship I had for the past 3 years with the #1 accounting firm in the nation. She was expecting me to go full-time after graduation, and so did I.
As I drove to the train station so much ran through my mind. I couldn’t stop shaking. My palms wouldn’t stop sweating. Luckily, Anthony got on the same train that morning.
I told him I thought I wouldn’t get another offer, and he gave me some sound advice.
“Fuck em!”
Although he only said two words, it somehow made me feel better. He was right.
Truth is, my heart was never in accounting. I enjoyed the internship the 2 previous years, but this year was different.
I had a strong dislike for my boss that year and it showed.
I felt on edge in her presence always, and it made my summer hell.
She was known for only giving half of her interns an offer back. I knew my time was up.
I got in the office that morning and checked my computer. The internship was over for the summer, and my exit interview was scheduled for 4:15pm. Not only was I about to be fired, but I had to wait 7 hours for it to happen. Tough.
The first few hours were hard, but after lunch I accepted it.
It was 4:10pm, and I walked to my destiny. Technically, I didn’t get fired. But, I didn’t get an offer to come back the next summer.
Yes, I cried. Everything I knew and had been working towards ended just like that.
I put 3 years into building a relationship with the firm and it was over. Little did I know; this would be one of the best things to ever happen to me.
What seemed like the end of the world was really a new start. An authentic start.
Everybody wanted me to be an accountant accept ME. Truth is, I hated it.
I felt like I was in a cage.
I loved math, it was my favorite subject. I understood numbers because they were always less complicated than words to me. But, it wasn’t the right path.
As I packed all my things and returned my computer, the tears went away.
I felt an overwhelming sense of calm. To my surprise, I was happy.
I walked out the building and felt at peace. I didn't have to pretend anymore.
I was done waking up at 6am. I was done using my summers to work a 9-5.
The wind was blowing. I felt so good!
I realized I didn’t fear losing the internship. I feared having to tell my parents that I had lost the internship.
This was a very important day for me. I got this internship my freshman year so I never got the chance to explore other things. To me this meant FREEDOM!
I was free to be myself. I was freed from the burden of trying to live up to my parent’s expectations. I decided to set my own expectations.
This was the day I never looked back.
This was the day I decided that my dreams had no choice but to come true!
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